Alan: If I am such a great guy, then why did Lyndsey leave me?Berta: Oh, there is no telling with chicks, but don't worry, you will find somebody elseAlan: As good as Lyndsey?Berta: Ha, look at you, already making jokes.

Alan: I appreciate the pep talk, but I have lost all hope.Walden: Well, I can't give you hope, but I can give you my American Express black card.Alan: Hope is for losers.

So how old is this guy..?Let me put it this way, he was one of the original investors in Apple, the fruit.

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DONE!! added SSL certificate to the server so now no more warnings of the site not being encrypted.. DONE!!  Added captchas to the signup process in order to limit the bots from signing up. DONE!! Added view totals to the posts so we can see how many times the posts have been viewed and changed the text link "More.." to a button.  DONE!! working on an updated display posts routine, will display only a portion of the beginning of the post and the last comment, but clicking on the post will display the entire post and all the comments... this will help to diplay more posts on the... Read More

Storks...Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! S... Read More

Montana Grizzly Bear Notice...In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field."We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black be... Read More

A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?" Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: 'You've got m... Read More

If General Motors Built Cars like Microsoft...At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (supposedly by Mr. Welch himself): "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?" Then others added these comments: 1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy... Read More

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